A Purity Banquet

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white roses

So, you’re thinking of holding a purity banquet for your teen girls? What a great idea! My daughter participated in one at the age of 16, and it was a wonderful and memorable event. If you’re still in the thinking stages, but not quite sure what to do to move forward to the actual planning and facilitating of such an event, I hope this post will help spark your enthusiasm and creative juices as I share with you what we did.

To get started, the most important thing to do is to study the Bible with the girls who will be participating in order to thoroughly cover the topic of purity in every area of life. I have written a book Purer in Heart which was based on the lessons we taught our group of girls over several weeks. As we discussed the idea of a purity banquet with the girls, we also discussed the importance of making a vow before the Lord. We read scriptures such as Ecclesiastes 5:4 and Numbers 30:2 and discussed the seriousness of what they were agreeing to. The main event in the banquet was the part where each girl made a purity vow before the Lord which was sealed by their father placing a purity ring on their wedding ring finger. The girls were made to understand that these rings were to remain on their finger as a visible reminder of their promise and were to stay on that finger until replaced by an engagement/wedding ring.

This was our program, after which are descriptions of each part.

  • Welcome & opening prayer
  • Dinner
  • Ceremony – 
    1. Ring ceremony prayer
    2. Reading The Princess and the Kiss  by Jennie Bishop
    3. Scripture reading: The importance of vows made to God (Ecc. 5:4; Numbers 30:2)
    4. Purity vows & ring presentation
    5. Father’s blessing
    6. 6 petals
    7. Prayer
  • Cake & punch reception

A. Ring Ceremony Prayer – “Lord, more than anything in this world, we want an intimate, pure relationship with You. We want to glorify You in every aspect of our lives. Help us use this time to underscore our spiritual relationship with You. We are Your body. We are the bride. You are the groom. Before we can seek to be pure before each other, we must be pure before You. Teach us what it means to bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. This is something we cannot do without You. Please be our Guide. In the name of Jesus we pray, Amen.”

B. The Princess and the Kiss is a book sold by Generations of Virtue that we bought at a homeschool convention years ago. It is a fairy tale of a king and queen who have a little princess and they giver her the gift of a “kiss” that is to be guarded faithfully until she finds the right man to give it to one day. As she grows up, different suitors present themselves to her, but she doesn’t find anyone who will truly value her “kiss,” until one day… This book was read aloud to the audience while the pictures were shown on a screen. As younger girls were also in the audience, this was a harmless but effective way to present the concept of guarding and cherishing purity.

C. (Self explanatory)

D. Girls’ Purity Vow – (Girls repeat each phrase after their father speaks it to them)

   “Believing that true love waits…I make a commitment to God…myself…my family…my friends…my future mate…and my future children…to a lifetime of purity…from this day…until the day I enter…a biblical marriage relationship.” (After the girls’ say the vow, their father places their purity ring on their finger.)

 E. Father’s Blessing – “_______________, may this ring be a reminder of your vow and commitment to purity. It is given to you by someone who loves you and supports you in this commitment. May it be a symbol of your continued life of purity in body, mind and soul. Wear it with the knowledge that your purity if for God’s glory.”

F. 6 Petals – We displayed a drawing of a flower with six heart-shaped petals. One petal was displayed onscreen and explained, then the next petal was added, and so on. Each petal represents a purity characteristic that begins with a “p” and was accompanied by scripture. At the conclusion of the 6 petals being read, the mothers of the girls presented them with a single white rose. Tied to the rose was a scroll tied up with silver ribbon. The scroll was a purity contract each girl had signed previously.

  • Petal 1: Purity, Matt. 5:8
  • Petal 2: Promise, Jer. 29:11
  • Petal 3: Purpose, Romans 8:28
  • Petal 4: Patience, Eccl. 7:8
  • Petal 5: Peace, Philip. 4:7
  • Petal 6: Praise, Psalm 16:6-8

(This flower design was the decoration piped on the top of our white tiered cake with the words printed in each petal.)

The banquet itself was formal with each girl wearing a white dress to symbolize purity. Of course, modest dress was expected – no strapless, spaghetti straps, short skirts, etc. The decorations consisted of white roses, baby’s breath, greenery, white Christmas lights, white tulle, silver beads, and white candles. During the welcome, each girl was introduced as she was escorted in by her father.

Each girl had a table reserved for her and her family and special guests. A place card with her name was displayed near the centerpiece and a couple of photographs of the girl decorated her table. We also invited the preacher and elders of the congregation to the event. 

Each girl’s family was responsible for choosing and purchasing her purity ring. There are numerous online sources to purchase such jewelry. It was recommended that the ring be of a good and enduring quality as the girls would be wearing them for several years. 

Our purity banquet was a very special event that culminated a six month Bible study of purity, but it can include as much or as little as you choose. It can be formal or informal, private or public, all-out or simple. Just remember, that the most important thing about this is to teach the value and necessity of holiness and impress it deeply upon our daughters so that they live their lives in a pure way that glorifies God. 

Heather Pryor

If you would like to read reviews of Purer in Heart, please feel free to click here.


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