FLASH card for Christian Parenting

Luke 2:52 is like parenting 101 in a single verse as it shows the physical and spiritual development of Jesus as he grew. “And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.”

This verse contains the same areas we want to see our children increase in as well. We want them to be healthy and strong, we want them to make right choices as they grow, we want them to live right before God and to be the kind of person that has a good reputation among others.

As Christian parents, what are some areas we can increase in as we try to raise our children to increase in the ways Jesus did? I have designed a parenting flash card to help us identify five areas we can work on as parents. The five areas listed on the flash card are discussed below, and a printable version of the flash card is available by clicking the link at the bottom of the post.

Faith – We can’t pass on something to our children that we don’t possess ourselves. We need to work on maintaining a strong faith that we can teach our children through word and example. Here are three ways we can increase in faith:

• Ask God – In Mark 9:25, a man who had begged Jesus for help admitted his faith was not what it should be. He cried out to Jesus, “Lord, I believe! Help thou my unbelief!” We, too, can ask the Lord to help our faith grow stronger.
• Grow in knowledge – Romans 10:17 tells us, “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.” We need to take advantage of every opportunity to grow in knowledge of the word through classes, sermons, podcasts, etc., but we also need to make sure we are personally feeding our faith by spending time studying the word every day.
• Walk the talk! – We need to live our faith before our kids every day, and consistency is key! Do we tell our children to trust in the Lord only to let them see us worrying about every little thing? Do we tell our children to be thankful to God for everything only to let them hear us grumbling and complaining? Do we teach our children to be kind and loving toward others only for them to see us “venting” on social media about someone who hurt our feelings?

Think about what kind of faith you want your children to have. Do they see that kind of faith in you?

Love – I Corinthians 13:4-8 gives us a description of what love is and what love does. Is this the way we love our kids?

• Love is patient and kind. A preacher’s wife told her husband that she noticed he seemed to be kinder and more patient with the people at church than with his own family. If his wife noticed that, do you think the kids noticed as well? We tend to put our best foot forward for others outside the home when we should be trying to do that for those we love the most who make up our home.
• Love disciplines. Proverbs 29:17, “Correct your son, and he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul.” Those words are so very true! The seeds of loving discipline that are sown in the tender years will bear much fruit continuing into adulthood. King David could not utter those words about his son Absalom because he refused to correct and rebuke him (I Kings 1:6). As a result, Absalom grew to be a man who was a liar, a murderer, an adulterer, and a usurper of his father’s throne. Discipline tells our kids, “I love you enough to tell you no.”
• Love says, “I’m sorry.” Love is not puffed up but humble. Do we express our love for our children by showing humility to them? Our kids need to see mom and dad admitting mistakes, asking for forgiveness, and saying, “I’m sorry.”

We need to love our children, not just in a natural way, but in the biblical way God shows us and commands us.

Acceptance – Not accepting sinful behavior in our children but learning to accept their bent or their path even though it may be very different from what you expected or wanted. Sometimes it may be accepting their personality when it’s so very different from your own. Maybe you are an extrovert and they are an introvert. It may be tempting to say, “Why can’t you be more social? Why don’t you try to talk to people? Why can’t you be more like me?” Accept your children for the unique person God created them to be. Here are three Do’s and Don’ts of acceptance:

• Pray/Don’t panic – Pray for God to guide them in the path they choose. Pray for wisdom. Pray for a loving and supportive attitude toward your child.
• Create/Don’t compare – Create good memories by being encouraging and supportive of your child’s choices as they grow. Don’t compare them to other people. That can be a self-esteem killer in your child. Make them feel loved by accepting them as they are.
• Enjoy/Don’t destroy – Praise=encouragement/criticism=discouragement

Surrender – Psalm 127:4, “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.” Those little arrows we are blessed with are to be raised so that one day they can fly. Sometimes letting go of our kids includes surrendering to God’s will and not ours. It can be hard to pray, “Thy will be done,” when it comes to our kids’ lives.

Arrows don’t do any good or serve their purpose if they stay in the quiver or the hand. They only do their job when they leave the bow. Sometimes our children’s path seems a little wobbly when they first leave the bow. In archery, this is referred to as the archer’s paradox. A slow motion video of an arrow shows it waving and wobbling when it first leaves the bow because the back of the arrow is travelling faster than the front and is trying to catch up, but eventually it straightens and flies true to hit its mark. It can be so tempting to try to grab our wobbly arrows and try to straighten them out mid-flight, but you can’t. You have to let it go and hit its mark.

Don’t cling so tight to your kids that you can’t put them in God’s hands. It’s the very best place they can be. Surrender your kids to God and His will for their lives.

Hope – Parenting takes a lot of hope! Hope can be defined as an expectant desire. When we look at our children, what do we hope for them? What are our expectant desires? Our ultimate hope is that they will go to heaven.

Psalm 78:1-7, “Give ear, O my people, to my law; incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, that the generation to come might know them, the children who would be born, that they may arise and declare them to their children, that they may set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments.” If we hope our children will be in heaven, then we need to teach them to set their hope in God, and that links us right back to where we started – with faith.

Raising kids is hard. Getting them to heaven is hard – but there is always hope!

As a Christian mother or father, work to increase in faith, love, acceptance, surrender, and hope as you raise your children to increase in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.

“The greatest contribution to the Lord’s kingdom may not be something that you do, but someone that you raise.”