In the last few months, I have had two different people make statements to me that really stopped me in my tracks. The first was made by an older woman who attends the same church as I do. We were talking one day before services when she happened to remark, “When you’re old, you become invisible. You just aren’t noticed anymore.” She said it with a smile and wasn’t complaining – just stating a fact as she saw it. But that simple remark haunted my thoughts for days and weeks. I had to ask myself, “Am I guilty of that? Do I overlook the older people at my church, or in my family, etc.?” It caused me to look around with new eyes and practice focusing on what was right in front of me that I had previously been neglecting. It made me be more thoughtful of who was sitting alone with no one talking to them, of who was going home to an empty house to eat lunch alone, of who was struggling physically, emotionally or financially yet sharing their struggles with no one.
The second remark was made by a friend of mine who happens to be a single woman. She is always pleasant and always appears to be helpful in serving others and to have a busy life, yet she remarked to me that she was struggling to feel like she really mattered to anyone. She wondered if she were gone if anyone would really notice or even miss her. She knew that was nonsense, but she couldn’t help feeling sometimes that she was always on the peripheral of things and somehow not relevant. This remark too made me thoughtful, and sad. No one in the church should ever have cause to feel that way and why was I not more aware of how others around me in my own congregation of brothers and sisters were feeling?
I believe most of us are willing to serve others in some way, we just tend to respond to needs that are presented to us rather than proactively searching for needs and then thinking of ways to fill them. For example, it is easy to hear an announcement at church about a need such as bringing in school supplies for a community outreach project and then having a clear objective to fill. That is perfectly fine, it just takes more effort to look around for a need that you can address and then thinking about ways to fill the need. Philippians 2:4 reminds us, “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Sometimes, we are so busy and distracted with our own lives that we fail to see the needs that are sometimes right in front of us. We need to train ourselves to be on the lookout for how we can be of service to others and also train our children to do the same.
Ask your kids who they think needs help and why. Their answers may surprise you. Sometimes they are more keenly aware than we are! As you discuss who you are going to help, identify the actual need and map out a plan to fill that need. For example, there may be a widow who lives next door to you. She has a yard crew that comes to take care of her lawn each week and a maid service to clean her house. Obviously, she doesn’t need her grass cut or her house cleaned, but maybe she is lonely and does need someone to spend time with her. Perhaps she would enjoy working a jigsaw puzzle with you or maybe she would be thrilled to be invited to your house for a tea party with the kids. Let your kids be involved in the process, but also suggest things to them that they may not think about. Challenge them and yourself!
If we want our children to grow up with a servant’s heart, we must lead the way by our own example. Make service a family event and work together for the Lord. Not only will your family be helping others and accomplishing good, but it will provide many teachable moments for your kids and leave indelible marks etched on their memory. Expose your children to people of different ages, races, and economic levels and show them how to view others the way Jesus did – with compassion and love. Do hard things and be honest with your children that sometimes serving others is hard, but Jesus did hard things for us because of his great love for us. I Samuel 12:24 says, “Only fear the Lord and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things He has done for you.” He was the ultimate servant and perfect example for us to follow in serving others.
To help you get started, here’s a list of just some of the ways our family has served together to give you some inspiration for your own family:
- Walk for Life – We participated in a 2 mile walk that raised money for a local pregnancy center that works to prevent abortions.
- Ronald McDonald House – We, along with some others from our church, cooked and served lunch to parents and children who were lodging at the Ronald McDonald house. These parents all had children in the hospital being treated for extended illnesses.
- Christmas Caroling – Every year, we join a group from our church that sings Christmas carols at the houses of our shut-ins and a couple of local nursing homes.
- Yard work for widows – We have helped mow lawns and pull weeds at the homes of widows who were unable to tend to their yards anymore.
- Baking/Cooking – We have baked cookies, muffins, quick breads, and cooked meals for those who were recovering from illnesses or hospital stays and also just to brighten the day of a lonely widow or widower.
- Cleaning – Our church building is cleaned by volunteers rather than a paid janitor. Our family is on the rotation to clean the church once every two months.
Who says cleaning toilets together can’t be fun? - Mission trip – We traveled together as a family to Honduras to
participate in a two week mission trip. We built houses together, worked at Vacation Bible schools, and visited children in the hospital. Serving the poor in a foreign country probably had one of the greatest impacts on my kids than anything else. It was life-changing for them.
All of these were opportunities to serve together as a family. We weren’t just telling our kids to go and do some of these things – we were right there working alongside of them. It has helped our children to be more mindful of the needs of others and to respond to them without being asked or told. For example, one of our shut-ins from church is a man in his 50’s who had a stroke about a year ago. He is still residing in a nursing home where it is lonely and often depressing. The only way he can attend church is if someone goes to get him. My 17 year old son noticed that this man was missing church a lot because no one was able to go and pick him up, so he decided to start being his ride to church. We were surprised (but pleasantly) when he told us one Sunday morning that he was going to pick this man up. He has been doing it ever since. This has been a great example to me personally as I mentioned at the beginning of the article that there were needs right in front of me that I wasn’t even seeing.
Let me also encourage you to be mindful of how you serve others. Cheerful, willing, and God-honoring should be our attitude as we carry out whatever task we’re faced with. Not only is it the right thing to do, but you never know who is watching you and how it is influencing them. When we were at the Ronald McDonald house cooking lunch, our girls were singing as they worked. They were singing “Our God is Mighty to Save”. As we were all cooking, different parents came in and out of the kitchen to access two large refrigerators reserved for them. Later on after lunch was served, we were cleaning and packing everything up to take home. The Ronald McDonald house staff provides cards for the parents to thank the volunteers who come in to cook for them. Several parents placed thank-you cards in a basket on the counter for us. One of them in particular just melted my heart and still moves me to tears when I think about it. A mother had written about how difficult her week had been. Her daughter’s illness was severe and emotionally taxing to her parents. The previous days at the hospital had been rough and she was feeling very discouraged and hopeless. She said she came down to the kitchen to fetch something from the frig when she heard the girls sing, “Savior, he can move a mountain. Our God is mighty to save!” This mother said those words brought tears to her eyes and hope to her heart as she thought about the strength and power of an almighty God. She was more thankful for that reminder and renewed hope than she was for the physical food we provided. What a tremendous privilege it was for us to serve in such a way that day.
God has given each of us a responsibility to use our talents, time, and resources to serve and to share. We are told in I Peter 4:10, “As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.” Be proactive and search for needs. Think of what you can do to meet those needs and carry out the work diligently and with a Christ-like spirit. Involve your children in helping and serving others as they grow, and work to develop a keen eyesight in each member of your family to see those who are invisible, are feeling neglected, or struggling. May God bless each one of you as you serve!